I quit!

No, not really. Although I wanted too, many, many times.

As part of my motivation to lose the weight, I am participating in "30 pounds in 30 days" over on Fat Girl To Thin. I just joined, but so far the support has been wonderful. It is nice to be among people who are on the same road I am on.

Yesterday, I finally unwrapped my Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred DVD. I bought it at Wal-Mart. Back in January. And until now it has just sat amongst my multitude of DVDS, gathering dust. Yea, that was the best nine bucks I have ever spent...a DVD paperweight.

Sure, there were many times over the course of the last few months that I wanted to break the DVD out. But I am the master of excuses. We were moving. I was sick. I was unpacking the new house. Noah had pneumonia. I couldn't find the remote. The list goes on.

I guess I never got the memo where you have to actually do something to lose weight.

So, I did it. I finally opened the DVD, put it in the DVD player, and started the DVD.

5 minutes later I wanted to quit.

In fact, I told the TV I quit. I was cursing Jillian Michaels every step of the way. Pushups?!? Are you nuts? Jumping Jacks? I am sure my son thought the ceiling was going to come down in the basement.

For someone that has been mostly sedentary for a large part of my adult life, this DVD was torture. With a capital T.

I kept telling myself that I couldn't do it. I was always going to be "fat". I quit.

Just as I went to hit the "stop" button and return to " I love lucy" I heard a voice, strangely it sounded like Jillian Michaels. "You deserve better than this. Don't you?" " You CAN do this. Failure is NOT an option"

So, I realized that I DO deserve better than this. I don't want to fail. Not this time. So, back to the DVD I went. I finished it. And promptly layed on the couch.

But I felt good. I felt empowered.

But I still don't like Jillian Michaels.