It's that time again

Yup, it's Wednesday and that of course means Weigh In time. Thanks to Emily over at Fat Girl to Thin for hosting it!

Well, last week I said my goal for this week was 220. I was at 223 this time last week. Last weekend was also the county fair. And yes, I induldged in all the naughty fair food my stomach could *not* tolerate. So, going into this week, I was really expecting a gain. I mean there is only so long that one can remain semi-sedentary (thanks to my ankle) before the weight starts slowly creeping back.

So, I got on the scale today (well the Wii fit board) and lo and behol my weight was not 223, instead it was...

221!

Yep, despite my weekend binge on all things fried and greasy, I still lost 2 pounds, That's pretty darn good :D

So, I am being extremely ambitious here...my goal for next week is to be around 215-217 pounds.

(sorry i didn't email you Emily, i have been going non stop today)

And So It Begins

I have mentioned a time or two that I am running a marathon in 2011. I know that I keep mentioning, but it is more for MY benefit then yours. See, the more I put it out there, the more I have to actually do it. It is more for me from an accountability standpoint.

This time of year right through the end of the year is pure hell. First of all, the weather will be changing, which means it is going to be too dang cold here in the midwest to walk from the house to the car let alone run at all. So, I am researching gyms and such in the area, they are expensive. Extremely expensive. The local YMCA has some wonderful classes, AND the kiddos can go to a daycare program for FREE. The cost however is 60 bucks a month plus the $125 joiner fee. This is the family rate. We figured that it would be a good idea if we decided to go with the Y, to get the family rate so that the kids can partcipate in the classes that they offer as well. This is going to take some convincing on part. My DH is hesitant. Because what if I spend that money and then don't do anything? He's got a point. (Even though I secretly think he just wants the money for the new Halo Reach game)

The second reason that this time of year is pure hell is because of the impending holidays. Not just Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Halloween. Not to mention apple picking time. I LOVE freshly baked apple anything...and no matter how hard I try, I always, not only fall off of the wagon, but get left 50 miles behind.

So...I know that many of you are on the same journey I am on. I am grateful for the company. This season, I will be featuring healthy YET tasty alternative to the seasonal fare that we all love so much.

If you have a recipe or a suggestion for something you would like to see here, please email me at mausting27@gmail.com and put recipes in the subject.

About That Marathon

I am running the Chicago Marathon. Not this year, but next year...2011. I am sure that some people may be wondering why I am waiting until next year instead of just doing it this year.

Well, I am waiting for a couple of reasons. The first is the most obvious reason: I am nowhere near physically ready. A marathon is a huge undertaking, especially for someone who hasn't been extremely active for some time.

I also want to find a sponsor. I was pleased to discover that local (and some national) charities and businesses sponsor Marathon Runners. I would love to run backed by one of my favorite organizations, Children's Memorial Hospital.

The third is probably the most raw of reasons...I am scared. I am scared that I won't be able to complete it, and I will just be laughed at. I am scared that I will fail, again, at something that I really wanted to succeed at.

Fear is a funny thing. Fear could be a perfectly good reason to just throw in the towel and say "That's it" But here is the thing, for every person that is sitting there supporting me (and trust me there is alot, I get emails daily from my RSS feed readers), there are people that are waiting for me to fail. They want nothing more then to watch me fall flat on my face. And that is not an option.

My fear drives me. My fear is what makes me want to be a better person.

Plus, there are 5 reasons in this house right now for me to not give up...My husband and my kids.

I am doing this in spite of the people that think I can't. I am doing this for my husband and kids...

And ultimately, I am doing this for ME.

So, about that Marathon? It's still on.

And training begins tomorrow

I've Been A Bad Blogger

When I first started this blog, I had but one goal in mind: To hold myself accountable. I mean, if I write it then I have to do it. Right?

This blog was born out of my need to change society's perception of what thin really is. I wanted to knock down all those stereotypes about overweight people. I wanted to reach a new audience. I wanted to help someone.

But, instead of being a tool, this blog has become just another "crutch"

As a chronic overeater and emotional eater,  I look for crutches wherever I can find them. I actively look for excuses as to why I don't run, why I don't eat better. And even though I built this blog as a way to keep me accountable, I have discovered that I can "hide" behind the computer screen. Whose going to know if I really ate the right foods. Those are characteristics of an emotional eater. Always looking for an out.

I need this blog, I need the accountability factor. I need to lose this weight.

Weigh In Wednesday

 Yep, it's Wednesday, which means it is Weigh In Wednesday over at Fat Girl To Thin. Well, as I posted earlier, I have been sidelined by an ankle injury. I am still not sure why it hurts so much, but I've decided to just suck it up Melissa!

I discovered earlier this week that, since adapting this eating plan (it's not a diet, remember?) I cannot eat junk food or fast food. It makes my stomach feel like crap. That is a good thing I suppose.

I missed weigh in last week. So I wanted to make sure to do it today. I am down two more pounds to 223. And while I didn't hit my goal of 220 this week,  I am aiming for it next week!

So, how did you do this week?

Sidelined...

A few months ago, I sprained my ankle. Yes, I said months. A few weeks after it had started to feel better, my husband was rubbing my feet when he accidently popped my ankle. It hasn't been right since then.

It hurts when I first get up in the morning, it hurts if I have been sitting for a while. It hurts if I am on it for any length of time. It isn't broken. It is just out of whack  I should go to the doctor, but I am doubtful if he can really do anything.

So, I am just going to suck it up and start walking daily, hopefully start running soon. My hopes are that once I start moving more, the pain will go away...

and if not, then I guess I will have to go to the dr.

Two steps forward and one step back

Yesterday was "Weigh In Wednesday" and I missed it. It makes me sad. I look forward to those weigh ins because it helps to make me accountable.

Speaking of accountability-I will not tell you how many cookies I ate the last two days or that I had nachos with all the fixins for lunch yesterday. I have fallen of the wagon again.

Life doesn't seem to want to give me a moment to just breathe. Everything is piling up. Work, house stuff, bills, other obligations. It is a lot for me to handle right now. And instead of dealing with them, I am smothering them under a mountain of unhealthy foods.

I would like to say, yes eating does help me deal, but the truth is, it doesn't. In fact, the more I eat the worse I feel. But it is a never ending cycle.

I feel like it is two steps forward and one step back lately. I can't get a head no matter how hard I try.

I am trying. Extremely hard.

Somedays, though it is just easier to reach for a cookie