I am not perfect

This journey to be a better and healthier me is just beginning. Well, to be completely honest, I have derailed a few times, but the important thing is that I just keep going.

When I first made the choice to blog about my struggle to lose weight, I had to wrestle with some demons. I wanted to go all out, no holds barred, and be 100% transparent. But that was a scary thought. Because it meant putting everything out there. My insecurities, my fears...everything.

Did I really want everyone to know everything? Part of me said "NO you fool" but a larger part of me said "Yes, you have to do this"

My reasoning is this:

Every one has struggled with something at some point in their lives Be it weight loss, addiction, or something else. We have all had are struggles. And, more than likely, everyone at some point has felt like they were alone. That no one understood how they felt or what they were going through. I know, that for me, I felt like no one understood how emotionally and physically painful it was to be overweight. No one knew how defeating it was to look at the scale and see that the numbers went up instead of down.

If just one person can take away just one thing from my blog and use it in their own personal journey, then I know that it will be worth it in the end.

I am not perfect. But through this journey I am hoping that I will learn that it is ok to not be perfect. I am hoping that, in the end, I will learn to be happy and healthy. And be the best that I can be.

~Melissa~

Motivational Monday ~Change The Way You Think~

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.” -David Viscott

Sometimes it is hard to stay motivated. I know it is very hard for me at times. All I want to do is just curl up on the couch and watch T.V.

Losing weight is a mental battle as well as a physical battle. By changing the way you think, and how you look at yourself, you will start to see the results you are looking for. Believe that you can do this. See yourself as a confident and beautiful person. Know that you are strong. And are loved. You can do this.

Some Great Tools To Help With Weight Loss

You can’t do a job without the proper tools. And as nearly anyone will tell you, having the proper tools make all the difference in doing the job effectively.

The same goes for losing weight. In order to effectively lose weight, you need to be able to keep track of your progress, your goals, excersise, and what you eat. All of it.

I am a visual person. If I can see my progress that I am making towards my goal, then I feel like I have accomplished something. Thing is, I didn’t want another notebook sitting around, plus I wanted something that would not only track what I ate, but would compute calories, my excersise, the whole nine yards.

Now, I don’t own an iPhone. But I do own an iPod touch, that I love to death. This thing is never far from my reach. I was pleased to discover that nearly every app that is available for the iPhone is available for the iPod touch (you just need the most recent software update…which is $5.00)

I have downloaded 3 apps so far, although there are many more I would like to add to my iPod.

1.)Jillian: An app by America’s toughest trainer! I love Jillian Michaels. She may be tough, but she gets the job done. I recently signed up for a free trial for her online program. And while I may not continue it (it’s $50.00 a quarter, and I don’t have that kinda cash at the moment) it is a great tool. So, I searched the Apple Itunes App store when I heard about her newest App. It is free to download and use and is a great way to keep track of everything you need to. (including motions like running..it tracks that movement.)

2.)SparkPeople: This is another free app. It is a great way to track your goals, calorie intake, and more.

3.)SparkRecipes: This is a free app that has a TON of healthy recipes for any occasion right at your fingertips. The recipes include the calorie and other nutritional information.

*These reviews are my own opinion. I was in no way compensated for these reviews and have no affilation with the above companies*

Overcoming Obstacles

Or alternately titled "the one where I get a little deep"

I have faced alot of obstacles in my life. There were many times where I felt like I had no where to turn, no where to go. Sometimes, I felt as if I were drowning. As if the obstacles that stood before me where going to suffocate me.

But guess what?

I learned to deal with them. Life has a funny way of saying "Either deal with it or don't, but I will continue on" So I dealt. I learned coping skills. I learned that my mistakes where just that...mistakes, and I could always find a way to fix them.

I am facing some seemingly insurmountable obstacles in my weight loss journey. And to tell the truth, I feel like giving up. Like shouting "I quit" while diving into a place of the most calorie laden nachoes you can find.

I am frustrated with my lack of weight loss. I lost 2 pounds...3 days later it was back. I can't seem to seperate myself from my nasty eating habits. I have a horrible picture of me on my blog (See "The Before") and it is a constant reminder that I. Am. Fat.

At 230 pounds I am miserable. I am nearly 80 pounds over a healthy reccomended weight for someone of my height and build. I am considered Obese.

Anyone who has dealt with weight issues or even just self esteem issues knows that when you are down, finding the strength to continue on and work towards your goals can be difficult.

And for me, I want to quit.

There is a 5 K that is fast approaching...and I want to run it. If only to prove to my little voice of self doubt that I CAN do it. But somedays it doesn't seem worth it.

I have commited, verbally, to running the Chicago Marathon in 2011. But part of me wants to back out.

I have atleast 2 books that are hinging on me succeeding...

But I don't care somedays.

It is overcoming this obstacle that will be the greatest success for me. This is a huge obstacle. One that is preventing me from reaching my full potential and from realizing my goals.

How do you overcome obstacles?

Menu Planning

Eating healthy is hard. Maybe not so much the "eating" part as it is the "planning' part. A lot of thought goes into what you are going to eat, when you are going to eat it, and what you need to prepare the dish.

If you are like me, you are probably the only person in your home that is trying to lose weight, so you also have to take into account what the other members will--or will not--eat.

We also buy our groceries 2 weeks at a time. So I have to plan for two weeks of meals. I have a hard enough time figuring out what I am going to eat tonight for dinner...let alone two weeks from now.

Meal planning is an important part of any weightloss journey. You need to know what you are going to eat before you go grocery shopping. Otherwise, you end up with a ton of junk in your cart.

Here are a few tips to make menu planning less overwhelming:

*Focus on purchasing ingredients..not "food" While it may appear that you are spending more (and at first you may spend a little more) if you have properly meal planned, then you are buying ingredients that will be used in multiple meals. Saving you time and money

*Make enough for leftovers. Many recipes that I have found are for servings of 4 or more. If you make 4 servings of a meal, and you are the only one that eats that meal, then you have enough for 4 seperate days.

*Plan meals for the whole family. It can be ALOT to do if you are planning meals for yourself and then having to plan seperate meals for other members of your family. Everyone eats the same thing. No questions. No complaints.