Sorry I have been M.I.A

This last week has taken a toll on me, physically and emotionally. I have had to deal with things that I NEVER expected to have to deal with. I am walking a very unfamilar path right now.

This past week, I had to take a step back from blogging, working, everything, and just deal with and process my emotions surrounding recent events. And while I still have a ways to go, I am doing better today.

I plan to be back in full force next week!

Have a happy weekend :-)

To run or not to run

That is the million dollar question. Recently, I declared to the world that I was going to run a 5k. Sure, I was met with more than one skeptical look, but I vowed to try anyways.

This week, I finally get around to wanting to register for this event. Only to discover that it is not a 5k, but is a 10k.

*sigh

Thats a lotta K's

So here is the new million dollar question...Do I run or not?

i want to. I really want to prove to not only others, but to myself that I am capable of doing this. But that is a lot of miles.

I am torn.

I am leaning towards running it. But then again, I am leaning to forgoing this run.

Gah. I can't decide.

To run or not to run...That my friends is the question.

Weekend= 2 Steps back

Weekends are my arch enemy. I always seem to slide back a little bit. I don't know what it is. I guess my body just decides that "Oh! It's the weekend, let's eat like we will never eat again." Luckily, I didn't gain any weight. Not so great was I didn't loose anyweight. :/ So I will have to work extra hard this week to make up for the weekend.

The weekend had its good and bad. I spent time with my kids and husband. Of course, as it always seems to go, I am also dealing with some heavy personal things right now. It's stressful, my nerves are shot, and while I know that things will be ok, it still doesn't help with my emotional eating.

This week will prove to be a struggle in many many ways. But I know that at the end of it all...things will be ok :-)

As Nemo says "Just Keep Swimming"

Master Your Metabolism: Day 1

Today marked my "official" start of Jillian Michaels' Master Your Metabolism plan.

It went really well. Actually better then I expected.

For Breakfast:

1 cup Kashi cereal with 1/2 cup milk

Lunch
Chicken salad (made with greek yogurt instead of mayo) grapes and roasted pecans

Dinner
Healthy Cobb Salad

Snack
Homemade Pita chips w/ organic sweet onion salsa.

And honestly, I wasn't hungry like normally was. I measured everything I ate (and yes I even weighed my chicken)

I was hesitant about using greek yogurt in place of mayo because I really really dislike the taste of plain yogurt. And I haven't really found a "flavor" of greek yogurt I like. But this chicken salad...once its cold...is delish! There is a small amount of honey that helps add taste to the salad.

I think I have finally found an eating plan that I can stick to :D

Menu planning...oh how I loathe thee.

I am preparing to jump right into the Master Your Metabolism plan this week ( I waited till this week, as it's grocery week). I spent the better part of last night pouring over the books that I ordered. I flipped through the calorie counter, I read the recipes in the Master Cookbook...I felt comfortable chosing this plan.

What I failed to realize is that the backbone of any successful diet/eating plan is a menu plan.

I am the only one in my house who is going to follow this plan. My husband will eat some of what I make, but for the most part...it's just me. (And yes, that means that I will be preparing two seperate meals...*sigh*)

Planning a menu is hard. Especially when following the MYM plan. For the first time in a very long time, I am more aware of the quality of foods that I consume. It is kind of scary when you think about all the crap that you put into your bodies.

Menu planning is supposed to give me a guideline. Something to follow. I buy those ingredients and that is what I have to eat.

The more I have to menu plan, the more a frozen pizza becomes appealing.

Change your thoughts...Change your life

I believe that is also the title of a Wayne Dyer book. Matter of fact, I have that book and that is probably why that title jumped into my head... anyways

I have been struggling with this whole weightloss thing...alot. When it is just me that is eating this stuff, just me that is doing the workouts, I tend to lose motivation. Sometimes, I feel like I am destined to be this fat mom forever. The mom who can't run and play with her kids.

And I hate it.

I follow both Jillian Michales and Bob Harper on Facebook and Twitter. Today, Bob had posted something about drinking more water to lose weight and to just be healthier overall. One poster said it didn't matter what he did, he was always going to be fat and it was "depressing". A few posters responded with "If that is how you think, then that is how it is going to be." And at that moment, they could have been talking to me.

The negative way that I have been thinking is sabotaging me before I even really get started. I am setting myself up to fail.

Changing your thoughts takes effort. And it isn't going to be easy. But if I want to succeed, if I want to be a healthier mom..and a happier mom, then I need to change my thought process.

I am working on it, I don't think that it will be easy, but I know that I need to do it. Not only for me, but also for my children that plan on mommy being around for a long, long time.

I am my own worst enemy

The weekend is over. It was a good one too. Spent it outside splashing in the kiddie pool on Saturday and Sunday. Watched Alice in Wonderland with my husband as our "date night".

Saturday was also Aidan's fourth birthday.

I made ice cream cake. Two of them.

I also overindulged. I won't say how many pieces I had...because honestly? I can't remember.

As Sunday night wound down, I was faced with what I had done. I had sabotaged myself, before I even had a chance to suceed. I always do that. I always set myself up to fail.

I am my own worst enemy. I eat with reckless abandon. I buy healthy food, but then end up ordering calorie and fat laden take out.

My ankle has been bad for nearly a month now. A MONTH. It isn't getting better. Instead, I still find myself cringing at the thought of walking up or down the stairs.

You know why it isn't getting better?

Well, how would you feel with 227 pounds of fat bearing down on you :(

I am my own worst enemy.

I think, today is the day to wage war against this enemey. Drive her out for good. And be healthy and happy.

I deserve it.

Jillian Michaels' "Master Your Metabolisim"

I had been hearing a lot about Jillian Michaels' Master Your Metabolisim and was curious to purchase the books and try them out, so when I got an Amazon Giftcard, I knew what I wanted to purchase.

I purchased the MYM Cookbook and the calorie counter. I am the self professed "cook book queen" I have a ton of them. I love to cook and am always looking for new, and healthy, ways to feed my large family. The problem is, most of the stuff in my healthier cook books...my picky husband won't eat. And if daddy won't eat it, than neither will the kids.

I haven't had a chance to try any of the recipes in the cookbook yet 9 (I will be making a menu plan for next week when I get groceries) the recipes seem to be fairly easy to make, amd seem to be something that my husband can/will eat.

The calorie counter is awsome. I carry that thing with me. It has sections for the best and worse choices at larger chain resturants, calorie counts for over 5000 foods, and a "Master Disaster" List of foods to stay away from.

Over the coming weeks, I look forward to sharing my hits and misses with the MYM system...and the weight loss that is hopefully not far behind!

I quit!

No, not really. Although I wanted too, many, many times.

As part of my motivation to lose the weight, I am participating in "30 pounds in 30 days" over on Fat Girl To Thin. I just joined, but so far the support has been wonderful. It is nice to be among people who are on the same road I am on.

Yesterday, I finally unwrapped my Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred DVD. I bought it at Wal-Mart. Back in January. And until now it has just sat amongst my multitude of DVDS, gathering dust. Yea, that was the best nine bucks I have ever spent...a DVD paperweight.

Sure, there were many times over the course of the last few months that I wanted to break the DVD out. But I am the master of excuses. We were moving. I was sick. I was unpacking the new house. Noah had pneumonia. I couldn't find the remote. The list goes on.

I guess I never got the memo where you have to actually do something to lose weight.

So, I did it. I finally opened the DVD, put it in the DVD player, and started the DVD.

5 minutes later I wanted to quit.

In fact, I told the TV I quit. I was cursing Jillian Michaels every step of the way. Pushups?!? Are you nuts? Jumping Jacks? I am sure my son thought the ceiling was going to come down in the basement.

For someone that has been mostly sedentary for a large part of my adult life, this DVD was torture. With a capital T.

I kept telling myself that I couldn't do it. I was always going to be "fat". I quit.

Just as I went to hit the "stop" button and return to " I love lucy" I heard a voice, strangely it sounded like Jillian Michaels. "You deserve better than this. Don't you?" " You CAN do this. Failure is NOT an option"

So, I realized that I DO deserve better than this. I don't want to fail. Not this time. So, back to the DVD I went. I finished it. And promptly layed on the couch.

But I felt good. I felt empowered.

But I still don't like Jillian Michaels.

Homemade (Healthy) Sloppy Joes

When you think of the term "sloppy joes" I am sure that the last thing you think of is them being healthy, especially if you use the canned version.

With just 20 minutes of your time, a few fresh ingredients, you can have homemade, healthy sloppy joes.

Ingredients
1 pd ground beef
1/2 chopped onion
1/2 chopped pepper ( I used red, you can use green or any other color that you like)
14oz can crushed tomatoes (I had fresh diced tomatoes, that i crushed with a spoon)
6oz tomato paste
salt,pepper, garlic powder, any other seasonings you like
*I added a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce and a few pinches of brown sugar*
Hamburger buns

What to do:
1.)Start the onions in a little bit of oil, about 1 tbs, in a skillet. Cook them until they start to sweat.
2.)Add the ground beef and peppers.
3.)By the time you are done browning the ground beef, the onions should be translucent
4.)Drain the fat and add the tomato and tomatoe paste.
5.)Season to taste. I used salt, pepper, garlic, oregano, and parsely
6.) Simmer uncovered for 10 mins and serve

*To make this dish even healthier, sub ground beef for ground turkey. My husband is not a fan of ground turkey, so I used the leanest ground beef I could find 93/7*

Enjoy

Transparency and accountability

When it comes to losing weight, are you "walking the walk" or are you just "talking the talk"? When I look at my progress, or at times, lack thereof, I think that i am doing the latter sometimes. It isn't intentional. I just don't like admiting that I failed....

Losing weight is a hard path to walk. The obstacles are endless. And it is ok to occasionally veer off the path. As long as you get back on.

In order to be held accountable, I think that you need to be transparent. You need to be totally honest with yourself and what it is you are trying to accomplish. If you fall off the path, then you need to be honest with yourself. What did you do? What can you change? And what will you do in the future?

For me, this blog is what is going to help me remain transparent. It is going to hold me accountable for my actions.

I have also joined in on Fat Girl To Thin's 30 pds in 30 days challenge. That is a pound a day. I can DO this!

Mama needs a new pair of shoes

I want these shoes
I need a new pair of shoes, especially since the ones I own now are really old
I spent some time this morning searching for running shoes online.
Then I found these on REI.com
They are only $99.95

I have bad ankles, and a foot that tends to hurt (more than likely bone spur related) A good pair of shoes will save my feet...and my goal.

Plus these are pink...and I like pink!

Excercise For Beginners

I thought this week, I would make it a point to dedicated some blog space to talk about excercising. More specifically excercise for beginners.

It is tempting when you are just starting out, to go all out. Put everything you got into it. And even what you don't got into it.

The hope is, the harder that you work the faster you will lose the weight.

The cold hard truth is...that is not true.

When I first started my journey, I went all out. I did the hardest level of excercise, ran when I knew I should walk...was trying to fit atleast 3 to 4 hours of hard excercise into my day.

The problem was...up until that point, I had been a sedintary person. Excercise and me...well we didn't have the best relationship. So when I went all out..my body just plain went.

If you are a person, like me, who has been limited on the amount of work that you do physically, it is best to start slow. Doing more then you are physically able to do will just end up badly (Just ask my sprained ankle and outta whack knee).

Start by walking. Walk the same route everyday. After about a week or so, start running some of the route. I time myself. I tell myself I have to run for one minute or from this point to that. The very first time I did a walk/run combo I ran 1/2 of my 3 mile walk... I was proud of myself. Still a far cry from the 5K that is coming up...but it is progress.

Now, my ankle is still fairly shot...so I am still doing modified excercises. And that is ok. Doing modified versions of harder excercises will net you the same result. Sure it might take you longer to reach your end goal. But as you progress, you will be able to up your intensity.

The important thing is to take it slowly. Don't overdo it. And have fun.

Motivational Monday

“The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” – Marvin Phillips

We all say "well I tried". How many times would the outcome had been different if you had just put a little "umph" into it?

A weight loss journey is one that is filled with many emotional and physical ups and downs. It is easy to give up. It is easy to become frustrated at lack of progress.

I challenge you to take a good look at what you are doing. Are you really putting your all into it? Or are you just getting by?

Have a great Monday!